Life Is Getting Better or Worse ? ?

Somehow i felt happy that my ex left me for another girl. I'm free to do anything i wanna do. In fact i dunno why did i stick with him for such a long time. Financially free. I can get anything i wanna do. I just spend like 50 plus when i went to somerset with my bestie Mei Ling on Monday.

If i had more budget this month i would get more stuff. But next month will be better. Because i just gave my school a thousand.

I got a new student this month too... Seems like another promising student. But i'm not sure if i can help her to get A1 for POA. I will just try my best.

Relationship... I never like being woo by 3 guys. They are constantly talking to me on msn or facebook or even sms me. I dun have feelings for you guys what you want me to do? It's so hard to avoid them. One of them even type muack on msn. I felt so disgusted. But then think back... I think i do that to my special friend. I wonder if he feel disgusted about it.

Special Friend ah special friend. I dunno wat you want. Why did i feel that you got feelings for me? Perhaps i'm over reacting? I dunno what to say to you. After much pestering you told me just remain as normal friends. Then why are you reluctant to let me go separate ways with you? Perhaps i wasn't the one u are looking for. Why still hold on to me? Let me go, perhaps i will find a guy that loves me from the bottom of his heart and i had feelings for him. Sometimes i rather he hold to me that telling me that he shouldn't be so selfish.

I guess i was on his mind very often recently. Just this week, monday to friday, he would sms me in the morning saying he slept quite early the night before. Remembering to go on msn when the night before i told him i wanna show him some stuff and asked for comment. Should i let go? I'm still trying to get hold of myself. Suddenly i felt so tired of waiting for him. But the emotional attachment we had. It's holding me back. I dunno what to do. Some of my friends tell me, just let things be(normal friends). Some tell me to let go, so i wun suffer so much.

Meanwhile, i'm still going to study well and continue my tutoring without being affected. I have learn to be stronger from my past r/s. I will always be waiting for the 3 words from you. Till the day i found another guy maybe?