Tuesday, February 22, 2011

I'm so heartbroken

As i'm typing this, tears are down from my eyes.

I need time to re-think, to relax from this noisy world.

I guess talking to students about this is not really a good idea. Perhaps i'm really a lousy person. I trusted them yet they speaks behind my back. I'm really very very upset.

I'm officially single. I guess i will not have the courage to go into a new relationship in any near future.

Upset is upset but then there is nothing i can do to make-up.

Cos trust is something not meant to be broken off. If the other party thinks this way, i guess it will be a Goodbye forever.

Perhaps one day he will find out that trust is not equal to reminding.

Also trust does not mean that everything you do will be correct. Or even a simple stuff like double checking before confirming that you are right.

It isn't like the computer is off. When in actual fact it is in a sleep mode just that you fail to realised it.

Perhaps a breakup will really let me think through throughly.

It's time to move on towards a new chapter in life. I believe i will get a wedding photo done in Disney World, Magic Kingdom as one of my lifetime wish.

I believe there are tons of guys out in the society waiting for me. Perhaps this isn't the right one in the first place.

But i'm glad that you helped me to overcome fear in some parts of my life.

Will not be missing you anymore. Time to say good bye.

In time you will realised that it might be a wrong move for you. For me it's just a new chapter of beginning. I have lots of friends to be by my side now. I have more time with them now.

I really appreciate all the wishes and help from my friends recently.

Friends who i'm do not know them very well. Please dun comment anything before you really know me. Cos i'm hate those people who thinks they are really smart at knowing how the person is like but then eventually there are not.

Stop being so nosey into other's matter. When you only hear one sided story. It will only make me feel sick.

Alot of stuff people maybe laughing behind my back but i will make sure that you will have to keep back what you said to yourself.

I've already proven that i can admit something which is not my mistake and even knee down. Don't ever make me kick you out of my circles of friends and relative.

If i ever do that, you will only be a joke which everyone laughs at. The things you do i will all post it online, on newspaper. This will only cause the society to look down on you.

I have very complicated family backgrounds.

A sister who will never understand me until the day she trust things i do has a purpose.

A father who wants money from me every time and complaint about it. Though i'm schooling and teaching tuition to support my school fees and also daily usage. He will also hide this real self if any relative or my sister is around.

A mother who is trying very hard to please my dad's expectation. She had high fever when she was young and she did not even get to study in school. For a mother like this, sometimes it tired cos i always have to help out with the cleaning for kitchen, living room.

A brother who changes job as if like drinking water. Aleast he will care for me and protect me in times of danger. He bought kites and bring me to the park to fly. He is selfless but then he used it wrongly. It's hard to change his character. He don't like to bring money and spend it on himself and friends.

A bunch of relatives who thinks i'm childish because of an incident. But i guess their views might have change because of a what a relative did to me(sh*t her).

I paid for my expenses(including bus ticket) when i go overseas. I give my dad money for ang pao to go for my relative's wedding. I paid for my own medical bills(bi-weekly)

I don't want to rely on anyone for money. I just wanna be independent. But no one actually recognise the fact. I hate it when others still spending on parent's money and yet yakking like no buddy business.

I dun like to rely on anyone for money. I like to do it myself, on my own.

Jia You! You can do it de!! I believe this phrase alot.


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