Sunday, March 20, 2011

4 and half year of relationship has come to an end

I'm not too sure why a four and half years of relationship will come to end. It just seems to happen so quickly.

I wasn't really prepared to hear him being into another relationship when just one had ended not too long ago.

Perhaps he didn't love me. Or i should say the other girl had already changed his heart when things just happen.

He just failed to detect any emotional changes through past few months. He forgot the trust i had in him every time for the last 4 years. Even when they girl message him at late night for the first few times. I just act as if i dunno. Or should i say i trusted him.

As time passes, his time left for me has dropped, just when i needed his support he disappeared. Left me helplessly alone. Didn't try to put into my shoes.

His mistake i'm able to accept. Words i've spoken on the blog. Partial of it are true and i know it's nasty but it's just as nasty as how he decided to shake me off.

He did not think through how much effort we put into this 4 years of relationship. I never try to hint him these few months. But quarreled with him. Just to show my unhappiness. Yet afterward he show no extra concern. Perhaps the time when i wanted to see his phone was his first sign of heart change.

He wasn't like this before. Never once complain when i tried to see his phone. The trust he said i know what it means but it's seems to be never enough for him. For one day he shall see how phyllis will do to his phone, msn and facebook. You will see it. This time round i will not true back time to where it used to be.

I have to be heartless this time round. I know i already lost him so i will not chase him back anymore. This time lost to a girl whom he barely knew for a month.

I will not regret anything for i've already told him all the truths and secrets i hide from him. Partially because i know he is troubled enough. Therefore i do not wish to further troubled him. Just a little concern from him and i'm good enough. But none of the concerns came from him for i knew it's time to let go.

My heart aches for a relationship which is approaching into a marriage. Even the gowns we have seem. An outdoor wedding with a dance was what we planned. A tuition center to be set up is what we had in mind as our goals.

This will no longer be achieved anymore. Will no longer have a picture of him. I have to source my way out for my Mr Right. I dun mind marrying in humble for if you are not rich.

I'm out of my mind now. I felt worse than any other incident that happen the past few weeks. It may had felt worse but i truly understand how deep a love can go to.

I may nag at him but it's for his own good. I may quarrel with him because he choose not to listen at times. I may be very bad temper for i have thyroid but i'm trying my very best to control everything. I may have destroy something so precious which binds us together but it's for your own good. I know it's too late to do anything now. I will let it go. Let it go, just like how the winds carries it away.

Lastly a picture for you guys to see. My engagement ring for that it no longer is by my side now.


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