Thursday, December 20, 2012

Just took a break

I just came back from Malaysia 2 days back...

It's a nice trip there visiting my relatives. I can say i have seen 3/4 of my relatives in Malaysia for this trip. Chat with most of them for awhile.

Too many cousins i can only say this. I have 26 cousins in total. Out of 27, 22 of them stay in Malaysia and the other 4 stay in Singapore. For the cousins in Singapore i'm not close with them at all because of some family problems.

But i'm quite close to a few of my cousins in Malaysia. In fact i'm very chatty. I chat from my cousins to their wife and to my niece to my nephew.

I'm a friendly girl whom anyone can chat with. Once you get to know me, you will know how friendly i can be. For everyone who sees my blog, feel free to approach me and chat with me.

Spend some time with  my little nephew and nieces also. Really nice spending time playing with them. It makes me forget alot of things.

Actually i'm still feeling a little sad over the relationship with bruce. I know i haven't really got over him yet. In fact i really i wish i can forget and put down everything. I wish i would stop dreaming of him. I wish i would stop crying.

I kept telling myself, he is a jerk because he is just like all tour guide who chase girls and let them down in the end. I try to think the bad side of him. But in the end i still failed.

So what i do now is i try to make myself very busy. Very very busy. With housework and studies and also the assessment book i wish to published. I also tried to crochet a bag for myself.

But i also realised i misses him the most before i go to bed. Wish that he is just a message away. Wish that every night he is there to wish me good night. Wish he tell me he misses me and wish to fly over to find me right now.

I felt so happy when i received his message last time. Him telling me he hope he could fly over in feburary next year. All these memories just kept repeating in my mind. I wish i didn't love him,

When i was in malaysia, i was hoping he was there with me. Enjoying the family time together. I can't help but have this thought in my mind. I know he will be happy enjoying the family time with me. Because he love to interact with people and of course good food. All my aunt and cousin's can cook really good food.

When i think back, i realised i was so scare to commit to him that time. Because he is too prefect. Way too prefect for me. I was even thinking he deserve a much better girl than i am. I wasn't confident of myself. I'm so scare i would waste his time. I wanted him very much but i'm also scare. Actually i know how he felt. He felt exactly the same way as i felt. Or perhaps not.

Wish i had not done anything and let us be friends forever. Perhaps it would be a better way than this situation now.

I have to forget and let it go. I will have to try my very best.


Post a Comment

<< Home